Friday, June 15, 2012

Angry Open Letter to Purina

Dear aka: Cat Drug Cartel;

Really? Like we wouldn't catch on? How could we not know that you put crack in your wet cat food?

 I'm super mad about this--  My cats are normally good cats. Quiet, subdued, introspective, self centered.

My dinnertime "here kitty, kitty, kitty" would get a respectable response-- unless they were asleep or busy doing cat stuff, like sleeping. 
Yes-- before they were good cats.

Exhibit A: Relaxed Cat
Exhibit B:   Laissez-fair Cat

THEN- Frankie got a toothache and dinnertime was torture time when he chewed his food-- and I got the brilliant idea he needed soft cat food ... so I purchased some of your Purina "Friskies". 

 ~Here is my first clue.  Friskies is code for Cat Crack.  The first time I opened a can they turned into Exhibit C.

Exhibit C: Cat Crack Party House

It is not just my cats, Mr. Purina....I think you are responsible for making a culture of cats super stupid. 

Exhibit D: Hip Cat Meme on the Internet

 What is this sad cat saying?

 "Why you takes my paws away"

Speak proper American kitty grammar here. 

Personally, I think this cat is addicted to Friskies. 

Step up, Purina and take the crack out of the cat drugs you pawn off as Feline Nutrition .

Case Dismissed...or closed, whatever.

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