Customer code name: Sassy approaches the register with a bridge set -- she is pushing 80, dressed in zebra pants, zebra necklace, zebra earrings and zebra purse--and crackle nail polish ).
Me: Well, hello! Those are some mighty cute bridge cards you have chosen-- can I ring them up for you?
Sassy: Yesss! It's hard to find extra jumbo size bridge cards, I'll take these. I need some for when Betty comes over to play bridge-- she is a nice girl, but I hide my good cards when she plays with us.
Me: Oh, really? tell me more...(and don't leave anything out).
Sassy: WELL... Betty is a card snapper. When she has a great card-- she will hold it in both hands, bending it all up, massaging and hiding it at the same time-- like somebody is looking over her shoulder and they might rip it out of her hand and steal her big damn victory...
then right before she pops-- she "snaps" down the card on the table to accentuate the point that she is the world's most awesome bridge player in America.
Me: Oh--- sort of like spiking the football, right?
|This is not Betty, I hired a professional model to protect her identity.|